Skinned

Inspirational song: Up All Night (Boomtown Rats)

The cabin is now as watertight as it can be, ahead of a predicted wetter-than-average month. I didn't get to go up on this trip. The man drove up this afternoon and wrapped some of the leftover Tyvek onto the steep sides of the barn roof, and secured the tarp as well as he could. We have to hope both that this is enough to keep most of the water out of the structure, and that we have one or two drier and warmer days mid or late month, to finish the peak of the roof and throw down tar paper and steel before heavy snows come.

I couldn't do the drive, because I had the first of two medical appointments this week. I arranged for a follow-up skin check after last year's basal cell carcinoma on my face. I'm still very self-conscious about how asymmetrical my nose is now, even though most people have no idea that it was cut apart in November. I decided I will never let a spot go unchecked as long as that bump on the side of my nose did. I was aware of it as a problem for eighteen months before it was biopsied. When I started feeling tiny pinpricks of sensation around my mouth again, like last year when there were nearly invisible precancerous spots on my lip, and when I felt miniscule bumps on the bridge of my nose, I asked for a referral to the same dermatologist as last year. She gave me a perfect report this time around. But she also agreed that after one skin cancer, I should not go more than a year without a spot check ever again. Yes, Doctor. I will follow that directive.

I have one more test tomorrow, but I'll wait until after I hear how it goes to discuss. I have been told to show up slightly sleep deprived. Well, now that I've been told to do it, naturally all I want to do is sleep. This is not how insomnia works. You can't say, "oh, no problem, I never sleep anyway. I'll just stay up most of the night, and get up at the usual time, and be good." Or rather, I said it, and it was a total lie. I'm desperate to crawl under the covers and turn off the light. Instead, I'm going to stay up watching the Late Show... and the Late Late Show, and if I really want to hate myself, whatever comes on after that.