Yesterday the P.A. told me that the effects of my particular version of chemo aren't typically cumulative, and I accepted it with relief. I didn't run it through my usual filter of "but I have lupus so none of your silly medical rules apply to me." I think today was rougher than the first time around. Even the Benadryl that they start with made me a little queasy, and by the time they got to the last drug (I'm going to guess Docetaxel, but I don't really remember), I started to feel super awful. Like they gave me alcohol wipes to sniff while they ran off to get a barf bag kind of awful. In addition to nausea, I started feeling disconnected, my chest was slightly tight (nothing to fear), my arms tingled, and I felt like someone was pressing on the outer edges of my ear canals. It passed by the time the IV bag was empty, but it was distressing while it lasted.
The clinic was absolutely packed. There's a holiday this week, so all of Thursday's patients had to come in at other times, and I imagine enough people are taking Friday and making a four-day weekend that those folks were coming in early this week too. I chatted with several people at the beginning and the end, but since I was there alone and struggling with how I was accepting the meds, I put on headphones early and played music while I shut my eyes. It made it pass much more quickly, and I wasn't concerned at all when Mr S-P was delayed slightly on his errands in Boulder. One woman, who came in and sat next to me while I was nearly done, had a pink wig very similar to the one I want. I asked her where she got it and she said it was cheap on Amazon. My daughter said there's a costume wig shop in Boulder where we can go so I don't have to order online (which I don't really like to do). I don't want to spend a lot, but a nice plasticky pink pixie would be fun for special occasions.
I am getting a little more fatigue early on than I expected. I haven't felt like doing much, although I did manage to feed myself dinner and wash dishes after. I tried to lie down this afternoon, but I couldn't actually fall asleep. It might have been the Neulasta on my arm. I'm terrified of rolling onto it. Also, I've started getting heartburn earlier this round. I'm on a wedge pillow now, and I have to figure out how to sleep on this thing tonight. I'm a side sleeper, but that would not be advised tonight.
And lastly, I have quite possibly made a tragic error. To fight the heartburn, I thought I'd try a peppermint from a trip to Sonic a couple of days ago (I only got a cherry limeade while the Man got food). I had bit into it before I realized that it wasn't a classic peppermint, but rather a butter mint. Butter mints (also known as wedding mints) are typically made with oat flour. Okay, oats are considered gluten free, but they are the worst offenders for my grain-sensitive gut. They take three weeks to clear out completely, causing extreme havoc on the way through me. I spit it out, but the damage is done. This cycle is going to be the absolute worst. It might be a while before I find a silver lining. Maybe excessive weight loss due to gastric distress.
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