Drain

Inspirational song: Sugar Mice (Marillion)

After a week of digging through every pile of paper stacked and shoved into cubbies and hutches, I contacted the mortgage lender who put on the continuing education seminar I was just sure was right before my first cancer. They told me they think the one I remembered was two years earlier. Here's where that whole "time has no meaning" problem really gets to me. I know I looked through my emails last year, and found a mention of CE through this lender in roughly the right time frame, but now I have no idea what it was nor how to find the credits. I am resigning myself to confessing my miscalculation to the state regulatory agency, and accepting whatever fine or punitive classes I have to take. Once I wrapped my head around that, I got a weird sense of calm. I'm not going to flip out and keep ripping my house apart looking for things that don't exist.

I had my pre-surgery phone consultation this morning. After so many trips under the knife, it all seems pretty routine to me now. "Yep, those are my drug allergies. Phone numbers for my emergency contact and ride home are correct. Uh-huh, no food after midnight, no water after 2 am." I'd love to race ahead to that day, but I have so much to get through between now and then. This is another "if I can just survive the next few days" kind of week. Busy and stressful. 

It didn't help that I had my last physical therapy session for a month, and she focused on lymphatic drainage massage. Those are always tricky for me. It's super light pressure, and very relaxing in the moment, but a few hours later I feel like I've been run over by a truck. 

Tonight was game night too. I had no energy or brain power to play games with the group. I just sat at the end of the table and tried to watch and play with the grandbaby. She was active and funny, but she was also shy around neighbor T and she refused to use her words. At one point she was covering her eyes when she sat with grandpa, peeking through her fingers at T. None of us think he is so scary, but Valerie has other opinions.