Aw, crap. I had a long run. I went half a century without intentionally inviting a dog in my bed. The time that my mom's bed-hog dog Barbara crawled in bed with me didn't count. Technically I think I was in her bed. And that New Years holiday when Sheba slept under my covers didn't count either. There were fireworks going off all night and she was out of her mind with fear. I just didn't kick her out. But to make a conscious decision whether to invite a dog into my space, knowing it would become a forever thing? I have never done that before.
I have spent two and a half days bonding with Saoirse now. Some communication is getting easier, some is remaining difficult. She hates her cage, and expends a lot of energy telling me loudly how much she hates it. Today I needed to go run errands, and had the brilliant idea that I would take her to Petco for a name tag and a new crinkly toy (I've learned that's her favorite kind). She panicked the whole way there. Good thing there is a direct route most of the way there through low-traffic neighborhoods, so I could hold on to a freaked out pup with one hand and drive with the other. We bought a harness while there, to attach her to the seat belt, and even that turned into a Gordian knot experiment. It was a mess. She didn't calm down again until I pulled into the parking lot for curbside pickup at the pharmacy across town.
I have been struggling with the deep urge to pick this baby up every time I'm sitting down. My life-long no-furniture-dogs rule is fighting with this urge, and I'm stressed. I asked the Mr to help me talk through this, but I did most of the talking. It boiled down to a few things. I have clearly proclaimed that I want Saoirse to be my service dog, and thus fundamentally attached to my hip at all times. One of the benefits that service dogs offer is deep pressure therapy during bad moments--they lie on you during anxiety or pain crises, and become a weighted blanket that is nice to pet. In two days I've already devoted a lot of time to leaning over and pulling things out of her mouth, like phone charging cables, because she is bored on the floor and out of direct line of sight. And finally, I just freaking want to cuddle this big-pawed bunny.
So guess where she is right now?
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