Anxious Calm

Inspirational song: One Day More (Les Miserables)

First, a confession. I just dug two fun size Milky Ways out of the candy drawer and downed them like they were the oxygen I needed to breathe. I am simultaneously, paradoxically both dying of anxiety and calm and accepting. I'm rewatching the interviews that calmed me, knowing there will be segments that spin me back up as it goes along. If it gets too bad, I can ignore the TV and snuggle with this giant puppy who is rolling around on the foot of my bed, begging for attention. Not sure I have the strength of will to turn the stupid noise machine off. Probably won't until well after dark on Wednesday.

I made myself legal again this morning. My driver's license expired on my birthday two weeks ago, and today was the first appointment I could get to renew. I expected the appointment process to make it all go smoothly, and it did, once I was admitted to the building. Apparently they make large groups of appointments, and make each cohort stand outside and dribble in. It made for some frustration and confusion, having a dozen people in line with a 10 am reservation, but only a few walking through the door each time it opened. 

When I got back, I took Saoirse on a non-specific walk up and around the park, just for practice. She did very well, other than spending half her time walking immediately behind my knees, back and forth from my left to right. There were a few other dogs at the park, but only one got close enough to say hello. There was a very enthusiastic young boy dog named Stanley who really wanted to persuade Saoirse to play. If we are lucky, we will see him and his human again, so they have another chance at it. His human was a little nervous about how bouncy he was, and she kept pulling on his leash.

I'm slow learning, but I'm finally getting it that the puppy needs both mental and physical activity to wear her out. She has been much nicer to be around this evening, after giving her stuff to do. She has been downright charming, and she keeps plopping herself right at my shoulder, putting her head right next to mine, volunteering to be the comfort she knows I need. Good girl.