Sunday, November 8, 2020

The Day After

Inspirational song: Dreamer (Supertramp)

We needed a day like today. An all-jammies, no-stress, blow off all serious work day. Me, I feel like I'm recovering from something, without knowing what that something might be. I was sore and tired after a night of searing foot pain, and I started my day with a gabapentin, taking care that I only get one before my ankles start to swell. It worked well enough that I don't need to try another and risk the bloat. 

I should have started eating better again today, but there was little energy to do a full keto day in the kitchen. I had popcorn before noon, but told myself it wasn't too bad because I shared more than a quarter of the bag with the puppy. I pretended I was good by having egg salad for lunch, but I washed it down with a second cup of coffee that had a squirt of Hershey's syrup in it. I'm batting 500 around here.

I'm working on a little theory that has a lot of rough edges. I think it could be possible that I had such a bad migraine yesterday and feel so wrung out today because I've been carrying so much tension for so many months that I sort of let all go at once when I heard the good news yesterday morning. And now suddenly I can feel how tightly I had been holding myself as sensation returns, and not in a good way. My hard candy shell is broken, and now all the soft fluff from inside is making a mess of me.

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