The Rule

Inspirational song: Hungry Like the Wolf (Duran Duran)

There are rules and there is order in this house. While many of the rules are flexible, some are very much not. Just as trash and cat box mess goes to the can in the alley on Wednesday nights and every other day the empty cat food tin goes in Elsa's mouth with no other dogs around, the unbreakable rule is that Alfred gets first crack at ice cream bowls. We don't have to tell him when we have them. He knows. And he wants us to know he knows. He sits no more than a foot away and makes unblinking eye contact until we acknowledge and hand over the (hopefully not completely) empty bowl.

It was just such a night tonight. I didn't have real dinner, because brunch was too big. Instead, I'd eaten popcorn and leftover cake with ice cream and strawberries. I was maybe halfway through when I felt the glare, and looked into Alfred's meaningful gaze. I was sitting on my bed to eat, with the adjustable base moved up high to feel like a recliner. (I'd been feeling poorly, and this helped.) I turned over my ice cream bowl to Alfred and waited. I didn't notice Saoirse was at the foot of the bed, making her calculations for how hard to jump to clear the foot of the bed raised an extra six inches. Neither did Alfred notice, until a giant floppy-eared wolf came flying up behind him. I've never heard him make the noise he made then, and I hope never to again. He zoomed past my ear to the pillows behind my head, while I ducked and my life flashed before my eyes.

Saoirse was blissfully unbothered by the commotion she created, and she moved in to finish the last remaining molecules of dairy from the bowl. Angry and bristle-tailed, Alfred moved on. I'm sure he will demand more rigid adherence to the rules next time there is ice cream. He has a way of making his demands known.

I don't have pictures of this brush with death, but I did finally catch Harvey in the act of sitting in the cat bed I bought two weeks ago, that no one had shown interest in until today. Also, the Dutch irises we acquired in quantity last year from the clearance rack have come back strong and beautiful. They're blooming all over the front, making me want to rush my planting. The rule in Colorado is not to put anything in the ground until after Mothers day. Can I wait that long? Might be time to break some rules.