Go Go Stop

Inspirational song: Whoomp! There It Is (Tag Team)

Oh, hey, so many days in a row of pushing myself and not being able to take my full complement of meds to regulate how I react to it. Funny how intense fatigue and stinging inflammation shows up right on schedule. 

I didn't really want to do much today anyway. Doesn't mean I didn't get in over my head. I needed to go to one store, for cat litter and a mat for the little mess-makers to wipe their paws on. I ended up in four big stores, because I added myself to the man's errands, so he would lift the heavy box of litter for me. It was sunny and hot and just the cherry on the top of the last several days of excess. 

While he did his wandering through Lowe's, I stayed in the plant section, looking at every single thing on offer. I saw a few interesting things, but limited myself to a single neon (sort of pink) syngonium on the clearance rack. I feel so disciplined. The plant didn't seem to be in all that bad of shape. It was just a little thin. I'll be kind to it, and soon enough it will be ready to pot up. It's kind of a metaphor for how I'll be feeling once I let myself rest this week.

The Loop

Inspirational song: Long Train Running (Doobie Brothers)

I had written double my normal length of blog, and was uploading the 20th (or so) photograph, when the program closed itself and erased all my work. I was really happy with what I had written, too. I wonder whether it still exists, somewhere in the multiverse of the internet. I'm pretty ticked off that I didn't save it, knowing how the app hates it when I put in a bunch of pictures.

The gist of the original post was how we took our train-loving preschooler to ride the Georgetown Loop narrow gauge railroad. I described getting there, getting rained out of a secondary trip to see a big wooden troll near Breckenridge, and a lengthy alternate route home to avoid going eastbound on I-70 towards Denver on a Sunday afternoon.

The short version is this. Valerie loved the train and everything associated with it. Dmitri had fun when he was free, and miserable when he was buckled into a car seat. We drove home via Grand Lake and RMNP, and the attitudes of each child remained the same. From Estes Park all the way to 2 blocks from their house, Dmtri melted down and screamed non-stop. Valerie is ready for mountain touring. Boy needs a tougher shell.

Competing Centers of Attention

Inspirational song: Valerie (Steve Winwood)

I'm coming up against a hard break, as they say in radio broadcasting. I'm doing a lot of touch-and-goes, and in minutes I am going to be fully asleep. Words are already hard to find these days. Tonight they are as elusive as Bigfoot and Nessie combined.

Once the kids came over, we tore into the box that Auntie sent for Dmitri's birthday. Dmitri struggled with the idea that he's allowed to rip this tissue paper off each item. Usually when he's this harsh on paper, someone comes along to take the paper away from him. Valerie was all too eager to help open each thing, holding up gifts and insisting, "This one is for meeeee!" Girl, you got a box of glitter crayons and a Disney princesses coloring book. Let the little man have his birthday. But when you're three, it's still hard to imagine other people get the same kind adoration like you think is your sole purpose in life. Kid had a pretty good haul for a one-year-old, even if his sister was there trying to claim half of it.

We went to visit with the Mr's family this evening. One of his cousins and her family were in town, and we did a potluck at my sister-in-law's place. This was pretty low-key, just a taco bar and desserts. Ours were the only very young children there. No others of their generation. But as my sister-in-law frequently babysits her grandkids of similar ages, there were plenty of toys and plenty of mommies to help keep an eye on them. I believe I can say with confidence that we all had a good time, even if Val was playing drama queen (and it was really just a game for her). Dmitri loved the attention too.

We had to wind through some side residential roads to get the kids dropped off and get home. Main Street was clogged up, and when I couldn't move more than half a block during a single light cycle, I recognized what was happening. This is the weekend they do a big car rally, and get everyone with a classic car, muscle car, hot rod, rat rod, or monster truck to cruise Main. Folks line the sides of the road for miles, with lawn chairs and picnic snacks. I bet I'm going to be hearing the roar of engines all night long, as I live just a few blocks from Main, at a convenient turnaround spot. It has mostly died down now, but I know better than to expect calm and quiet.

Outgrowth

Inspirational song: The Waiting (Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers)

Dr Google tells me that the average time to process and return a pathology report is three to seven days. Awesome. The reason I looked this up was I started looking at my phone compulsively this morning, waiting for a notification from the UCHealth app that never showed up. I was thinking surely it would just take a day, right? No such luck. I'm going to assume I have to read the time estimate in business days for them to run all the slides and whatnot and prepare a report for me. So at best, what, Tuesday to hear whether the nugget was just a boring little chickpea or an angry little garbanzo with evil intent. (I use this metaphor because in the photos from the inside, it looked like a little flattened legume of equivalent size.) Yes, the rule is don't panic while you wait. But Inigo Montoya spoke for us all when he said, "I hate waiting."

I did not feel 100% today. I'm moving slowly because my belly is still tender and my head and neck feel wrong. I know why my insides hurt. I do not tolerate any sort of foreign objects in my body (see: my pure loathing of the chemo port), and I have a new metal clip and glob of carbon black ink in me. The head and neck might be because I literally flopped back and forth in bed, wholly unable to sleep until past 4:30 this morning. The other option was when they were repositioning me so I wasn't mooning the surgery recovery ward, that they mishandled my neck. I'm willing to assume it was me not them.

On a happier note, we got a package in the mail this afternoon. It's mostly birthday presents for Dmitri from his auntie. But included in the mix was a little baggie for me of succulent leaves that were sprouting roots and tiny new plants. I think they are crassulas (like jade). They could be pachyphytum. If they survive to maturity, I'll be able to tell. My daughter said she got the plant at a dollar store of some variety, and it has been the strongest, most resilient thing she has ever seen. Harvey's brother Ziggy keeps stomping on it and knocking leaves off, and those leaves just pick back up and start growing again. Just the kind of pluck I needed this week.

(sniffing the box that came from the apartment where his birth mother and brother still live)

Unintentional Tattoo

Inspirational song: Brother 52 (Fish)

For several years, there has been a competition between my older daughter and her cousin, to see which cousin can have the most tattoos. I think the cousin is currently in the lead, but possibly because they have a lot more tiny ones, whereas my daughter has a lot of big picture ones. I started the morning well behind them, with three tattoos. I'm ending it with a surprise new tattoo, deep inside my body.

How does one get a surprise tattoo, you ask? Funny story. Turns out they needed to leave a mark where they cut out a rather sizeable polyp they found this afternoon during my colonoscopy. Whoops! I was growing more tissue that I wasn't supposed to. I keep getting caught doing that. I promise, I'll try to stop. This little nugget was in the ascending colon, and judging by where I've been feeling tender, it's roughly even with the bellybutton on the right side. 

Pathology is still out on it, so unless I hear something concerning, we can all assume that it was just my body being overeager again, not the next hurdle to jump. It has been about seven hours since they put me under, so I guess I'm far enough out to post this blog, even if I'm not supposed to make legal decisions or operate heavy machinery yet. Get your screenings on time, folks! 

Glass Half Full

Inspirational song: Overture / The Temples of Syrinx (Rush)

This has been both better and worse than I expected. Better because the prep hasn't resulted in any real pain. Worse because I have anxiety that they will say I didn't do it right. I have that panic every time, but they never criticize me over the quality of my preparations. I planned ahead, started early, and appear to be ready already. But my show time isn't until 1:45 tomorrow. Plenty of time for me to second-guess myself, and to risk mindlessly taking a nibble of something when I pass an easy to grab food.

Game night was a hybrid. Half our crew went remote, so there were only four of us present at the house. It was another warm night, so having 50% fewer bodies in the living room was probably to our benefit. Having folks call out this soon into a campaign makes me nervous that it will suffer from the same attendance problems that cause these things to peter out quickly. There is a reason that they say scheduling is the hardest foe you face in D&D.

Rather than risk droning on about my upcoming medical test, I'll just go pour myself another short glass of what my D&D friends have dubbed "Gunda's Hard Lemonade" (Costco brand lemonade and Kroger brand miralax) and watch videos until I fall asleep.

Sliding Towards a Purge

Inspirational song: Don't Stop Me Now (Queen)

There should be a whole lot more in my donation bin by now. That's how I had planned to spend my evening, clearing clutter and throwing a whole bunch of stuff in the trash. I got only a little bit of it done. Mostly I wandered in circles, too hot to focus on anything. I think the only new items from today in the bin are glass candle holders that are just not my style. I was moving too slowly to make any real progress on cleaning up for game night tomorrow either. A few dishes, a load of laundry, and a light vacuuming. It's going to feel like a burden when I have a deadline to meet tomorrow.

I get so excited when days like this come. Both of the other adults who live in this house are elsewhere overnight. The man went to his cabin, and J went to their favorite camping spot in Wyoming. I was giddy at the prospect of having a big trash purge while no one was around to stop me. Turns out there was one overriding force, the actual force of nature. It was so hot I didn't feel like carrying a damn thing to the trash can in the alley. I'll need to get up early and remedy that before the heat comes in the morning.

The other kind of purge happens tomorrow. I can only consume clear liquids, and I have to drink yucky concoctions all day. I will say this now, as it is my life's goal to stop anyone anywhere from ever consuming Suprep before a colonoscopy: Don't take that nasty stuff they prescribe. It's horrible. If mixing Miralax and Gatorade was good enough for my surgeon to take out a foot and a half of my large intestine, it's good enough for a scope to make sure everything is still in working order. When they come calling for you, and eventually they always do, say no to Suprep. It is not worth it. Trust me.

Wild Children

Inspirational song: Also Sprach Zarathustra (Richard Strauss)

So. Stinking. Hot. I was really digging the cooler and wetter than normal spring and early summer we were having. I didn't want to join the rest of the country (rest of the northern hemisphere) in record heat waves, but here we are. My only consolation at this point is that Colorado is not also humid. We are being told that next week will be better, and by August first, we could be back under 90 with rain most days. I would take that. 

Kids came over today, because the roommate who has taken over babysitting on Mondays wasn't up to it. Valerie was also feeling off, so we elected not to take her playing in the river. She did perk up midway through, so playing splashy-splashy in the kiddie pool happened. We took Dmitri out too, but he wasn't as into it. He kept climbing out and wandering across the yard, sometimes walking sometimes crawling. Keep in mind this kid was naked. He crawled over the grass and found a beef bone Saoirse chews on sometimes. He grabbed it, and slowly stood up, wobbling a little. He raised the bone and said, "HEH!!" And I died. I called out to Mr S-P, and said I could hear Also Sprach Zarathustra playing. Dmitri stomped over, carrying his bone tool, to where his grandpa was working on the garden fence. He dropped the bone and reached for the cordless impact driver. I guess at that point this naked baby's soundtrack changed to The Blue Danube, right?

This was a hard day to herd wild babies. The heat was one strike. I failed to drink coffee this morning, so a headache was strike two. I've been eating low fiber bland food for a few days, making me feel sluggish. We'll call that a foul ball into the stands. The worst is I can't take my anti-inflammatory meds for days before my "procedure" on Thursday. Strike three, I'm out. I'm not gonna be a good grandma until at least Thursday night.

Recharge

Inspirational song: The River (Bruce Springsteen)

I don't have two brain cells to rub together, and all I want to do is sleep. Yesterday's adventure left me with not quite enough energy for babysitting today. I stayed home with the little man while grandpa took the big girl to play down at the river. They stopped for fancy grilled cheese sandwiches on the way home. That's about all I can report. Now I can unplug my brain and go recharge for about 10 hours.

To the Moun'ns

Inspirational song: Cruel to Be Kind (Nick Lowe)

Holy cow, what a day! I didn't expect it to turn into quite so much, but it did. We took the kids up to elevation to escape a hot day, and it became a huge adventure time.

We brought swimsuits, swim floaties, and a big tube float so we could let the kids splash in Lake Estes for a while. The idea was to burn time while we waited for the reservation entry into Rocky Mountain National Park to time out at 2pm, and we could go in without a reservation. We ended up not getting up there all that early, but we still went to the lake anyway. The water was too cold for the kids to really swim, but they got to float a bit with grandpa, out into the lake some. They each tried to be immersed in water, but neither of them liked it. Too cold and scary. I didn't have a swimsuit, and I'm not that into super cold water either, so I stayed on shore and took pictures.

A very nice lady came up on a paddleboard, and let Valerie have a ride on it. We kept joking that the first lesson is free. All the others plus equipment we are going to have to buy now that she's hooked are really going to cost us. 

Eventually we went up to the Park. Kids fell asleep on the way up Trail Ridge Road, but we woke them to wander out one of the overlook trails. I would love to know what was going through Valerie's mind. She was deep, deep in thought for a lot of it. The photos of her are fantastic. 

After we dropped them off, we went and played games with our bonus kids (who really aren't kids anymore). Bonus son-in-law and I kept ending up tied in the games, one as a win and one not. While there, I started sketching out the symbol for my company logo. I need to get moving on making business cards. I'm getting better at telling folks what I'm doing for a living now. I need something to hand out during those pitches.