I was stuck for a week and a half. I had important things to accomplish, and I couldn't give myself enough quiet time to start them. Well, in one case, continue, not start. I needed to go back and reopen the continuing education course I started almost two weeks ago, that was abruptly cut short when my laptop forgot what the internet was. I wanted to keep at it, but then it was Pride, and then babysitting, and then a trip up to the cabin, and then 4th of July, then D&D... It just never cycled back around to me time.
Today, my only obligation was to myself. (Don't let Saoirse and the cats hear me say that.) I got up early-ish, shut off the attic fan and closed up the windows, and fed the screaming horde. I let myself move slowly through the morning, over green tea and a bowl of yogurt, but eventually I pulled out the laptop and my notebook, and dove back into the class. I had let it become a monster in my head, as if an online CE course I paid for and was taking for my own benefit would judge me for getting busy for a week and not finishing it. Nothing of the sort happened. I reviewed the unit I last worked on and took the chapter exam that I couldn't open without functional internet. I made it through three more chapters, and took a break. By then I was feeling good enough to call Boulder Community Hospital and Tricare in succession, to find out who goofed up and charged me a double copay for a 15 minute session to inject botox into my scalp. By the time I got that sorted out, I celebrated by sitting with my feet up in front of a fan. (By closing up the house at 0730, I captured a lot of cold, but with it 96 degrees outside, it still got up to 77 inside in the late afternoon.)
I'd like to take one more me day tomorrow, but I do have to drive down to see my rheumatologist early in the morning. While on one hand, that means getting to be in an air-conditioned car on a day that is supposed to reach upper 90s, on the other it means disrupting my routine. I can only hope I settle down after and build on today's success.
Just a mention about the photos tonight: we started our shopping yesterday at Ace, where I found a solar lantern with tiny LEDs. I didn't learn until nightfall that they flickered, so it looks like fireflies in a jar. Someday I will again be in a place in summer where fireflies still exist. Not currently sure where that is.
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