Autopilot

Inspirational song: One Hit (To the Body) (The Rolling Stones)

Someone in my neighborhood has taken to smoking cigarettes outside near my house. When I have my whole house fan running and the windows open, a faint whiff of smoke comes inside. I would ignore it, but I can't, because cigarette smoke is also one of the smells I hallucinate when a migraine is coming on. (The other phantom smell is cat pee. Aren't migraines fun?) I smell cigarettes now, but I don't know whether they are real or not. It is indeed night time, and my windows are open and the fan is on. On the other hand, I feel like a carpentry clamp is pressing down on the top of my head, pushing from there through my right eye socket and sinus, into my molars. In the days before botox, this would have felt more like an ice pick, so I guess duller pain is a step up?

I was in a sour mood all day, before the facial pain got me. I didn't know why, but I could tell I was grumpy. I had a bad opinion about everyone. The last straw was when it was almost cat dinner time, and Harvey started his usual reminder, sitting on the chair behind my head, impatiently tapping me (hard) with his tail. Rather than feed them, I called him a rude name and pushed him off the chair, and then went to lie down with the right half of my face pressed hard into the softest pillow I had. By doing this, I understood what the problem was, and what the best remedy was as well (being very still and sleeping when possible.)

Eventually I had to rejoin the living. I had an errand I wanted to run at Target, and I had been waiting for the heat of the day to pass before I went outside. I drove off, thinking I'd just get one or two things at Target. Instead, I went to Home Depot first (it was next door). I looked at every plant inside, taking none. I wanted cleaning supplies, and finally got a floor squeegee like Aurikateriina uses, plus some industrial strength degreaser for the replacement oven. By the time I got to Target, I was already losing focus and I had no ability to track time. I went in circles, dropping things in the cart with no real plan for some of the stuff. Slowly I came to realize store employees were in the process of tidying for closing, so I got out of there. Mr S-P said I was gone so long, for the purchase of one stated item, that he started wondering if he needed to "call the PD." That was the point it occurred to me I probably should have delayed my errand until my brain had run updates.