Oh, yeah, this is what I needed. I didn't have to go to any appointments today, for anything. I stayed in pajamas and did very little. No one pointed a radiation emitter at me. No one asked to see the irritated skin on my breast. I enjoyed the solitude and complete agency over my own body. Well, I sort of had solitude and freedom of choice over my body. I had an animal pressed up against me nearly non-stop all morning and afternoon, until I actively started the process of changing my manicure. No cat wants to stick around when the aluminum foil and pure acetone comes out. I was still sitting there on my new love seat, in stinky pajamas, foil wrapped on all my fingertips, when my neighbor came over to pick up something, and it occurred to me it was almost 5 pm, and I really ought to shower soon, since we had planned to go out to dinner tonight. Oh, if I have to.
It was a celebratory dinner. I wasn't griping about going out. This was my way of recognizing that one more intense round of treatment has ended. I choose to believe I won't need it again. I don't know what the future holds, but if I never have another cancer diagnosis, I'll be quite happy about that.
I will continue to take things slow for the next few weeks. No reason to rush back into a hectic schedule. I'm a little worried that activities will find me, even if I'm hiding from them. November and December tend to get crazy whether one plans it or not. For now, I will stay at this speed, and let all the radiation work its magic.
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